It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
