the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
