i permit you to call me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
