a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
