Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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