The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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