better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
