Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Tardy86 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?

Fav 44 2752 6922
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

Fav 16 4026 1587
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

Fav 20 4332 1505
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

Fav 7 3020 1127
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.

(970): View more from Colorado

I am going to be fat forever.

Fav 16 1728 3490
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

Fav 4 2341 915
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

Fav 5 2215 820
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now

Fav 5 1008 626
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy

Fav 3 340 230
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT