Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
