Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im holly from the hills drunk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
