Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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