margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
