Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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