you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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