$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All the doctor said was why
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
