Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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