ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize