He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize