I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The uberlube is also flammable
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
