Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
