This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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