You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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