she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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