I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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