It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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