your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
