i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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