youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There r osticjed everywhere
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
