why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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