Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want to have your abortion
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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