he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
