Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
