Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
