it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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