On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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