Just took my morning after pill in the library
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
