he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
