I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
