My friends, they love my intelligence
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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