Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize