i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
