So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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