Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
