I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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