sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
