what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
