isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
