I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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