I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
