Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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