is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
