Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
