im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
