So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize