I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
