2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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