Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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