I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
