If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize