I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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